About Spring....and stuff.

So, every year when spring comes around its like dejavu. Like, "Um, this feels familar, like a dream I had long ago. Is this really happening? Hmmm." I remember being a kid, rolling down the car windows for the first time of the year and waving my arm out in the wind, smelling the thawing dirt, hearing the robins cheerily-ing in the evening. It all comes back alive in the Spring doesn't it? Everything, including us. Laura Ingalls Wilder wasn't kidding when she wrote "The Long Cold Winter". Minnesota, I do love you, but jeez! Looking forward to long peaceful evening walks, floating down lazy rivers, and green grass under bare feet, digging in the earth and planting seeds. I certainly wouldn't mind being a snow bird, flying south-ish for the winter. (Yes. Please God, let it be so!) E-hem. Did you hear something? Anyways, what was I saying? Oh yes, Spring is here! Hooray!

around here you might see.......

An amazing building, probably at least 100 years old, (that would cost a couple million on the west coast, at least, and would make anyone a GRAND home) used for storage.
or



a peculiar antique shop the sells the old things that the old house used to hold.

I like to copy rachel (because she is the coolest)

so she is doing some thing involving writing down daily graces- blessings. so here i go.

-I got to read to winter this morning to help her with her presentation today- in peace!!! this is a miracle. ( i am usually interupted 50 times per page)
her presentation was on JOhn Deere- the man. , for her entrepenuership class at homeschool coop. She had to pick a person, she picked him. pretty cool i thought. very winter. she was sad thought that she couldn't find her john deere shirt, which is also very winter.
-last day of coop, ahhhhhhhh, all done. it was cute to see her standing next to all her art- very proud like. I love to see her grow, and learn. She is an amazing girl.
-i got and hour on a great playground today with serenity and issac, it was glorious, warm, and tons of fun.
-and.....playing silly games with lots of funny people tonight, and good friends.

now i must go to sleep, besides, my battery is almost dead!

ODE TO GRANNY/ open letter

My Granny can cook up a mean country breakfast, and she always has cookies in the gallon jar. She can knit and garden, bake home made bread, you name it she can do it.
She told me once that she used to make bed sheets from old flour sacks, and sew her own underwear.

She’ll always greet you with a strong hug saying, “Give us a squeeze.” And she doesn’t mind pinching anyone’s ass. She’s not afraid to say what she thinks, and don’t worry, she will.

She loves to tell stories from the past and I love to hear them. She talks about her sisters and brothers, her parents, their siblings, and on and on. She has photos, too. She’d love to show them to you.

She is strong, and will overcome anything. I know a few young ladies who have inherited that gene.

She has poured out her life in service to others, whether helping raise her own siblings, or working as a nurse, having her own family, to caring for ailing in-laws, and serving her own brothers at the farm.

Though life is hard, Granny always knows it could be worse. You can always count on her to joke around, no matter what the circumstance.

Crooked Creek Church is where she wants to be Sunday morning, just like she has been for so many years. Of one thing I am sure, Granny has faith, I can see it in her eyes. And when things are hard, and we can’t find words to express, I am comforted to know, that this is where God still speaks in his still small voice.

May God Himself be your comfort through this time.

We love you.

A Father and his child.

The other day we were at the skating rink in town. It is an indoor rink, where many award winning skaters are born, as well as champion hockey teams. We were there at an open skate, just fooling around, giving our kids the chance to get comfortable on skates and have fun. At one point I was on the sidelines with my youngest, and i looked up and was awestruck. Now don't get me wrong, there are talented skaters even in open skate- spinning, twirling and lutzing around. That is fun to watch, but this was different. It was as if everyone on the ice was in slow motion, and here was a young father, probably a star hockey player not long ago, bobbing and weaving, soaring above and below everyone, round and round the rink, at a speed at least 10 (probably 20)times faster. I don't even know if those around saw him, they certainly didn't seem to. He was just so fast, but we had an outside view and it was stunning. Not just his skating, which was so powerful, and graceful at the same time. I don't know if I've ever seen that before, but it was the fact that he was holding his son, probably 2 or 3 years old. He had skates on too, and his father would hold him up high and then low so his skates could touch the ice. A perfect dance. And to see the look on his son's face, hands held out. He knew he was flying...no he was soaring, carried by the strength of his father. All thrills and joy, no fear. Complete trust. It was beautiful. I couldn't help but cry. I'll never forget the mixture of grace and strength the father had, and I'll never forget the look on his son's face. The purest joy on earth.

I want to soar like that.

25 random things about me.

1. usually i take bugs outside, instead of kill them. (unless they are house centipedes, because they are hideous!, and make my skin crawl, i think they are a result of sin entering the world)
2. I love burnt orange-it's my favorite color.
3.I think about the ocean alot- huges waves, rocks- i yearn for it actually.
4.I grew up on a dairy farm, and am pround to be a native minnesota hillbilly.
5.i have a really wierd dent in the back of my head, i have a friend that used to rub it for good luck.
6. i used to be in gymnastics and volleyball in junior high.
7. I almost always make decisions based on feelings, which is confusing sometimes. especially to my husband., he is like a rock to me, when i am tossed about in emotion.
8. Sometimes i think i want to have a farm with chickens and sheep, and a huge garden.
9. Other times i think i might be lonely in the country, and am thankful for city life and next door neighbors.
10. I spend alot of time thinking about faith, and jesus, life, and death.
11. I get restless alot, especially sunday nights.
12. I have a big scar on my foot from sliding down the car windshield and getting stuck in the windshield wiper, when i was 3.
13. I have a really strange story about being electrecuted while i was sleepwalking. (you can ask me sometime- hence the scar in my lip)
14. We lived so rural growing up, that my birthday parties were in the newspaper, along with who attened, and what was served.
15. I like graveyards.- but not in a dark sick way.
16. I love to travel, and see new places, new people, new everything- but i also like coming home.
17. I love everything creative.
18. I have ridden in an ambulance twice.
19. I have been in lots of car accidents, .............and gotten alot of tickets.
20.I love to look at nature close up, like the delicate patterns on a leaf, and then look up at the sky, and think about the cosmos.
21. I haven't been to any of the 10,000 lakes in minnesota, ...yet. ( which makes me feel like a tourist in my home state.)
22. I would rather pay a little more for something quality, but i buy most things second hand, or get them off freecycle.
23. I like eggplant- mostly because its purple, and shiny.
24. I love books, when you find the right one at the right time.- but not fiction, really.
25. I barely ever have matching socks, unless i grab them out of my mom's sock drawer.

Why i do what i do.

Sometimes its good to remind myself of what i am doing and why. so When voices come out of the air, and have all of their belittling, accusing, degrading tones (like voices do) i can hold my head high, like i should.

What exactly is a "house-wife", "stay-at home mom", or a "homemaker". I personally like "domestic artist", because it feels dignified, and fancy, and talented. Which is how it should feel, right? For some reason, when people ask me what i do, i get this kind of ewww, feeling, and think "i just stay home with the kids". People ask me, "Don't you go crazy?" and i think, "ya sometimes", but that doesn't mean i should quit, right? a family isn't something you just walk out on. You can't just say "well i guess this is not my gift, maybe i'll go try scuba diving" God had trusted me with his children, he must think i have what it takes somewhere inside, to do this thing. Family life is something you have to look straight in the face, and wrestle, and win. You must, the lives of your children are at stake, here. I like the challenge, i like the mystery. A house-wife isn't all that i am, not in the least, but how can i do anything else, if i suck at homemaking? How can i help others, if my own family is in shambles. not cool, no, not cool. So i really have no choice, but i am glad, because there have been, and continue to be, so many hidden treasures in this thing, treasures i wasn't expecting.


There are great mysteries hidden inside of a family. When my husband holds me, I feel the loving arms of GOd, lover and Friend. When we love each other, there becomes some mysterious stability, that makes all the children at ease. And there is safety within a family, we are all in this together. I am free to pour out all the love i have, no one laughs, and it all ends up coming back to me in the end. I can be dead honest, and its OK. My husband loves me, and values my words, and feelings, and he can handle them. And when i honor, respect and trust my husband, I do so to God. When i feel the great love in my heart for my children, I feel God's great love for me. I co-labor with God, as he shows me individual strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and destinies. I am priviledged, to pray with the holy spririt for each of them. And i will always walk beside them, their biggest cheerleader, as the holy spirit does with us. As i teach the children how to relate with on another, We are humbled to realize jesus is our brother, as well as king. It is my Absolute Joy, to harness all of my wild and ravenous ambitions, and then gently and completely release them into my children.

There is so much in this, so much going on, i cannot think of doing anything else. In a blink, my kids will be old. and all of thier impressionableness, will be lost(somewhat). like hard cement. If there is one thing i do in my life, right, this must be it. It has to be.

So i fumble around, feel like i am losing my mind, often. Say sorry a million times. And teach and learn. When a child looks up at me, a mere two feet tall, big brown eyes, chubby cheeks- I am his world, and i create his world with my choices. He will meet his maker, through me, through us. Better make this a loving safe place, for them to grow, like delicate shoots, just sprouting from the ground. They will need water, sun, pruning, alot of work.....and we will see the fruit, and it will feed nations.

What my second daughter is like.

she is like fireworks
beautiful, shocking, awe inspiring, and loud.

she is like chocolate
sweet, rich, and brown

she is like a figure skater
graceful and daring

she is like curious george
very curious, and quite agile.

she is like a mother
tender and caring

She is like wilbur the pig
"HUMBLE" and "TERRIFIC"

She is like her Dad
harnessing mountainous strength, when she acts in gentleness.


She is my daughter. I stand amazed.

miracle rambling

i have been pondering lately, about miracles, and where God is, and where i want to be.

I met a man a few nights ago, who is the leader of a house church network, (and just happens to be able to see angels, and has been to heaven, and has talked with jesus face to face various times- not that that really matters in my story, but it was kind of facinating) Anyhow, he was at a meeting once and jesus walked up to him and said "you see all these people run here and there in search a signs, and miracles, yet they fail to see the miracle in a life that is transformed" Well that was the beginning of his path towards the house church thing.

I have been thinking of my neighbor from when i was young, who just died. He was a simple man, who rarely left his farm, his ENTIRE life. he died at 93. You can see the log cabin, where he was born, from his grave. Today it serves as someones shed, yet once it held a family,and sheltered them from the fierce minnesota winters.

I am thinking of children we are about to open our hime to. Children from who knows where, in need of a safe place. and of the children in the world, that go with out food, and are sold into slavery, and aren't valued.

There are people with whom the world would like to ignore, would like to get rid of, would like to die. People who are incovienient, or bother us, make us feel uncomfortable. People who require too much, people in need.
Maybe it is a person who is "handicapped" in some way, but independant. Maybe they are not in need, but we need them- in reality.

I think i would much rather be spending my entire life, seeking out the "nobodies, unwanted, and untouchables" , than spend one moment of my time with the "rich and famous- so- and so's."

I think mother theresa said once "it is poverty, that someone would have to die, so that we can live how we please"

I think that God is with the "nobodies", and that is where i want to be.

I have always had this weird feeling, (i always interpret it as arrogance) that if i was my true self, all my potential, i'd be famous. -And that always freaked me out, because, yikes, what would happen to me? i don't know if i could handle that. (maybe i should get counseling . he he.)

Well, really. I don't give a rip about being famous. I'd much rather not be. I enjoy, sweet moments with the Lord, when no one is watching. And pouring my life out, within the walls of my home.
And sweet moments with my children.
Laying down YOUR life, so that others might live.
That is miraculous.
That is touching God.

If you were here.....

You would see me....... talking with my neighbors
You would feel the sun shining on my front porch as issac and i sit on the steps and watching people walk by
You would talk to my mail man. He walks from house to house, greeting people by thier first name
You would hear the sound of lawn mowers
and smell someone grilling near by
You would see (and hear) us walking through the neighbors yard, because the dog got out, again.
You would love all the old doors in my neighborhood that are rounded at the top, making you wonder why they still don't make doors like that!
You would see sidewalks and hear many different bird songs.
You would see American flags.
and backyard playgrounds.

If you were here, you might think, "I love it here, this is perfect", and feel like this is only the beginning.

Yeah my house!

I really like my house. and i like it even more now. We just had 2 weeks of crazy construction stuff around here. Tons of men with tools, in and out of the house, saying things like "How would you like this?, and Have you picked your colors yet?, and "what were you thinking for the kitchen?" and "We're done for today, see you tomorrow!". it was pretty nice, i feel spoiled. I won't go into alot of detail, don't want to brag or anything. But do feel free to come for a visit anytime. I can share my house, really.

And, yes it IS spring! after that last post, it snowed again, ....and again. but i think that it is absolutley done now. (I mean really, it's totally uncalled for. this is april dang it.) we have all these little green leaves pushing up to the sky around the edge of our fence. Most likely we'll see some flowers when they are done. I can't wait to find out what they are.

Derek is working at a nusery in town, while he contiunes to go to school full time. Which means, PLANTS!, and nice yard (because he'll know how to take care of things) I like this. This is good. This makes wife happy.

Oh and if anyone is interested (which i can think of only one person who might be) i have started using a website called www.amblesideonline.org in schooling the kiddos. And well this is one of my full time jobs (teacher), and i get a bit excited about it. I don't use the entire site, but the method fits our family better than any other, and i think the time has come to get a tad more structured in school.

um de dum. well i am just blabbing. I really need a little social time. (i'd love to meet you at panera, lisa!)
Maybe next time i'll write something creative, entitled something like
"ode to my house"
or "Oh, how i love thee, house, let me count the ways"
or maybe "A day in the life...shauna and her house"

It's Spring!

About time!

I never realized the bummer weather of minnesota, until i left of course. I had gotten used to being able to go outside any month of the year, and relax. I love going for walks, or bike rides. I despise the car. and riding around in it, with my kids all strapped in like we are on a dangerous carnival ride or something. I would much rather go slow. Walk, look at passers by in the eyes and smile. Notice things that you don't while in the car. i even like public transportation. Yeah, its the way to live.

Today we went for our first family walk of the year. Well, the first one that didn't end with frozen hands, and crying kids.
We could have kept walking all day. It was glorious!

The girls rode thier bikes, and we pushed isaac in his umbrella stroller. And we ended up at our new favorite place to eat. Yummy real mexican fish tacos! Need i say more?

Winter bought herself a nice guitar the other day, and daddy is giving lessons! (ps she is really becoming a gorgeous little woman, but don't tell her i said so, she'll get pretty embarrased.)

Mr son is talking! And i just realized that he knows many body parts, because if you ask him "where is your ear?" and so on, he knows it all!! Brilliant! I always knew he was.

and middle daughter? She is also becoming quite a charming lady. She takes a ballet class, and its her favorite! She's a natural, and will probably take lessons for a while. And i am pretty convinced that her training wheels will be off soon.

Peace to you all
We love you, love you
night night

how do you know?

i just had some thoughts going through my mind , So i thought i'd write them out.

How do you know that you are drinking from the stream of living water? In other words, how do you know you are on the right path?

well.....the right path is.....
a path that makes you die everyday. And submit your will, to His.
A path in which you don't know the answers, but you know the One who does.
a path where salvation is a gift, and there is nothing you can do to attain more.
a path that you can only travel on through One door, and His name is Jesus.

A path that draws you low, and low, and lower still.

Jesus said,
The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of some great value, he went and sold all he had and bought it.

Nothing compares to the love of the Father.

What have we been doing?

Just in case you have been wondering.......

currently i am listening to some african music from Derek's world music class, while he does algebra, and isaac dances.
I love how little kids instinctively dance to music. I think isaac even danced to the washing machine once.

Latley we have been (i have been) getting better at homeschooling winter, and serenity has started a workbook, which is her "school" she's so ecstatic, it's cute.

Our sweet friends from Milwaukee came to visit with thier sweet kids. We had such a fruitful, warm and gooey time. We played cheezy games, and ate together. and talked. I had an especially great time with Lisa. (I love you Lisa!)

I have realized a pretty important thing about motherhood/ and wifeness. Well the bottom line is creating an atmosphere. So Derek can come home to a peaceful haven. Which involves keeping everyones bellys full of yummy food. Sounds silly, but the atmosphere is pretty lame when everyone is always hungry, and i am off doing my own thing. So i made a meal plan, woohoo. Our lives have been changed!

Singing and drumming in the Rochester House of Prayer, which sounds fancy, but is just a few folks of various ages, and denominations, singing to jesus together.

Not visiting the farm. I love you farm and i miss you. (note to self: must visit farm soon)

Taking Serenity to dance/ music class, and meeting interesting folks in the waiting room.

Making new friends, inviting lots of people to my home, despite all my messes, and letting my roots grow without fear- because heaven is my home.

an amish paradise

Have I ever mentioned that we live NEAR an amish paradise?

I had almost forgotten, because we moved into an urban area a few months ago. In someplaces nearby, you can buy canned things, bread, quilts, furniture from amish folks. There are signs on the sides of the road, indicating that you should watch for carts and buggies. You come upon these beautifully kept up farms, usually white houses, with hitching posts outside, and no sign of any electric or phone line.
And you will most likely see hitching posts at the grocery stores too. And beautiful children, with handmade bonnets, little boys with black pants, blue shirts and suspenders. Men with long facial hair, and a tape measure always fastend at the side.
And you may even hear a little German.

I was reminded yesterday, because we went on a long drive yesterday on roads which cut through the frozen cornfields of iowa. A LONG drive, got lost once. All to find our PEARL of great price. Our puppy. Yes we have a puppy now, and We named her Pearl. and We bought her from a Mennonite family. It was fun. And She is fun. Serenity is in heaven. Pearl a very little white Bichon Frisse, kind of like a poodle i guess, but we vow not to shame her with the poodle hair cut, or the bichon frisse haircut for that matter. Yup.

Our family is growing.

tie tie

We have a way, around this house, of shortening or rhyming all our words. If you were in our home, you may think we have our own language- and we do.
let me translate for you:

tie tie = tired
ga ga= i am feeling kind of mushy, and i love you right now
nayb= neighbor

A typical conversation (or convo) might sound something like

ME: "Who wants a little juicy juice juice with thier cake pakes? "
Daughter 2: "Mmmm gaga."
ME: "i love you too, sweet pete"
Daughter 1: "oh look, the nayb is out with his snowblower!"
the Dad: "sweetness"
small boy: ahh (pointing at cake pakes, because he wants one)

Now i must sleep, because i am TIE TIE.
goodnight

CRAZY MINNESOTANS!

people are weird here, and really nice too.
look at this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ8PrELc4-A
(sorry i don't know how to do the clever link thing)

my only son

I love having a son. After having two girls. I am in love with my son.
I love his breath, even after having a whopping 6 teeth, his breath still smells like a baby. Perfect.
I love how he comunicates. If body language really is like 90% of communication, he has got all 90% down pat. Its that pesky 10% of speech he has yet to conquer.
I love his drunken laughing, when he is so happy that he's beyond happy. like when he is in the bathtub late at night with bubbles. he just laughs and laughs and laughs.
I love that fact that, when eating at the table, he holds his utensil with his right hand, patting the food with it and atemping to pick it up, all the while knowing that it is just practice and he will eventually pick the food up with his left hand to eat.
I love that he loves to stand on his stool in the kitchen and watch everything i do.
I love that if you offer him two choices of food, he will choose the bigger one.
I love the little grunting man noises he makes, and has made since ever since i can remember.
I love that he is sensitive, though it would be hard not to be in this house. his sensitive dad is always kissing him, and taking off his shirt so that thier bare skin can touch, like when he was a newborn. he also has two older sisters to nurture him, and teach him how to swaddle baby dolls.
I love those big brown eyes, and wispy baby curls.
and how his smile seems to disable gravity, and i am suddenly in a much better place.

I love my son.

All my cool skills

I learn alot here at home
these are some sweet skills i've picked up

*conflict resolution skills
*time management skills
*people management skills
* teaching skills
* cooking skills
* laundry skills
* resource$ mangagemnt skills
* cleaning skills
*hospitality skills
*gardening skills (come spring)
* home maitenence skills
*administrative skills

Not to mention the "oldies but goodies" that are more like plants that are constantly growing in our home, than a mere skill.
like
love love and more sacrificial love
patience
self control
joy
rest
ecstatic joy
thankfullness
faithfulness

Oh the benefits of family life!!!!!!!

My lovely weekend

i had a LOVELY weekend. we went to a retreat center thing with a bunch of folks from our church and just hung out and played games, and music, went sledding and played broom ball (which is like hockey, except no skates-just shoes on ice, and brooms and a ball). no agenda. i loved it! it felt like living in community again, for a second.

and we just got to know people so much better. It was real. mmmmmmm. woohoo. i'm happy.

and i love our church! i love our pastor! i love him love him. he is so unashamedly smitten in love with God. and he can take the most offensive thing in the old testament, and bring it to life. to life i tell you! we are in a good place.

and .....some people in our church want to live in intentional community, which made me a bit EXCITED! So we'll see. anyhow, i love my church!