around here you might see.......

An amazing building, probably at least 100 years old, (that would cost a couple million on the west coast, at least, and would make anyone a GRAND home) used for storage.
or



a peculiar antique shop the sells the old things that the old house used to hold.

I like to copy rachel (because she is the coolest)

so she is doing some thing involving writing down daily graces- blessings. so here i go.

-I got to read to winter this morning to help her with her presentation today- in peace!!! this is a miracle. ( i am usually interupted 50 times per page)
her presentation was on JOhn Deere- the man. , for her entrepenuership class at homeschool coop. She had to pick a person, she picked him. pretty cool i thought. very winter. she was sad thought that she couldn't find her john deere shirt, which is also very winter.
-last day of coop, ahhhhhhhh, all done. it was cute to see her standing next to all her art- very proud like. I love to see her grow, and learn. She is an amazing girl.
-i got and hour on a great playground today with serenity and issac, it was glorious, warm, and tons of fun.
-and.....playing silly games with lots of funny people tonight, and good friends.

now i must go to sleep, besides, my battery is almost dead!

ODE TO GRANNY/ open letter

My Granny can cook up a mean country breakfast, and she always has cookies in the gallon jar. She can knit and garden, bake home made bread, you name it she can do it.
She told me once that she used to make bed sheets from old flour sacks, and sew her own underwear.

She’ll always greet you with a strong hug saying, “Give us a squeeze.” And she doesn’t mind pinching anyone’s ass. She’s not afraid to say what she thinks, and don’t worry, she will.

She loves to tell stories from the past and I love to hear them. She talks about her sisters and brothers, her parents, their siblings, and on and on. She has photos, too. She’d love to show them to you.

She is strong, and will overcome anything. I know a few young ladies who have inherited that gene.

She has poured out her life in service to others, whether helping raise her own siblings, or working as a nurse, having her own family, to caring for ailing in-laws, and serving her own brothers at the farm.

Though life is hard, Granny always knows it could be worse. You can always count on her to joke around, no matter what the circumstance.

Crooked Creek Church is where she wants to be Sunday morning, just like she has been for so many years. Of one thing I am sure, Granny has faith, I can see it in her eyes. And when things are hard, and we can’t find words to express, I am comforted to know, that this is where God still speaks in his still small voice.

May God Himself be your comfort through this time.

We love you.

A Father and his child.

The other day we were at the skating rink in town. It is an indoor rink, where many award winning skaters are born, as well as champion hockey teams. We were there at an open skate, just fooling around, giving our kids the chance to get comfortable on skates and have fun. At one point I was on the sidelines with my youngest, and i looked up and was awestruck. Now don't get me wrong, there are talented skaters even in open skate- spinning, twirling and lutzing around. That is fun to watch, but this was different. It was as if everyone on the ice was in slow motion, and here was a young father, probably a star hockey player not long ago, bobbing and weaving, soaring above and below everyone, round and round the rink, at a speed at least 10 (probably 20)times faster. I don't even know if those around saw him, they certainly didn't seem to. He was just so fast, but we had an outside view and it was stunning. Not just his skating, which was so powerful, and graceful at the same time. I don't know if I've ever seen that before, but it was the fact that he was holding his son, probably 2 or 3 years old. He had skates on too, and his father would hold him up high and then low so his skates could touch the ice. A perfect dance. And to see the look on his son's face, hands held out. He knew he was flying...no he was soaring, carried by the strength of his father. All thrills and joy, no fear. Complete trust. It was beautiful. I couldn't help but cry. I'll never forget the mixture of grace and strength the father had, and I'll never forget the look on his son's face. The purest joy on earth.

I want to soar like that.

25 random things about me.

1. usually i take bugs outside, instead of kill them. (unless they are house centipedes, because they are hideous!, and make my skin crawl, i think they are a result of sin entering the world)
2. I love burnt orange-it's my favorite color.
3.I think about the ocean alot- huges waves, rocks- i yearn for it actually.
4.I grew up on a dairy farm, and am pround to be a native minnesota hillbilly.
5.i have a really wierd dent in the back of my head, i have a friend that used to rub it for good luck.
6. i used to be in gymnastics and volleyball in junior high.
7. I almost always make decisions based on feelings, which is confusing sometimes. especially to my husband., he is like a rock to me, when i am tossed about in emotion.
8. Sometimes i think i want to have a farm with chickens and sheep, and a huge garden.
9. Other times i think i might be lonely in the country, and am thankful for city life and next door neighbors.
10. I spend alot of time thinking about faith, and jesus, life, and death.
11. I get restless alot, especially sunday nights.
12. I have a big scar on my foot from sliding down the car windshield and getting stuck in the windshield wiper, when i was 3.
13. I have a really strange story about being electrecuted while i was sleepwalking. (you can ask me sometime- hence the scar in my lip)
14. We lived so rural growing up, that my birthday parties were in the newspaper, along with who attened, and what was served.
15. I like graveyards.- but not in a dark sick way.
16. I love to travel, and see new places, new people, new everything- but i also like coming home.
17. I love everything creative.
18. I have ridden in an ambulance twice.
19. I have been in lots of car accidents, .............and gotten alot of tickets.
20.I love to look at nature close up, like the delicate patterns on a leaf, and then look up at the sky, and think about the cosmos.
21. I haven't been to any of the 10,000 lakes in minnesota, ...yet. ( which makes me feel like a tourist in my home state.)
22. I would rather pay a little more for something quality, but i buy most things second hand, or get them off freecycle.
23. I like eggplant- mostly because its purple, and shiny.
24. I love books, when you find the right one at the right time.- but not fiction, really.
25. I barely ever have matching socks, unless i grab them out of my mom's sock drawer.

Why i do what i do.

Sometimes its good to remind myself of what i am doing and why. so When voices come out of the air, and have all of their belittling, accusing, degrading tones (like voices do) i can hold my head high, like i should.

What exactly is a "house-wife", "stay-at home mom", or a "homemaker". I personally like "domestic artist", because it feels dignified, and fancy, and talented. Which is how it should feel, right? For some reason, when people ask me what i do, i get this kind of ewww, feeling, and think "i just stay home with the kids". People ask me, "Don't you go crazy?" and i think, "ya sometimes", but that doesn't mean i should quit, right? a family isn't something you just walk out on. You can't just say "well i guess this is not my gift, maybe i'll go try scuba diving" God had trusted me with his children, he must think i have what it takes somewhere inside, to do this thing. Family life is something you have to look straight in the face, and wrestle, and win. You must, the lives of your children are at stake, here. I like the challenge, i like the mystery. A house-wife isn't all that i am, not in the least, but how can i do anything else, if i suck at homemaking? How can i help others, if my own family is in shambles. not cool, no, not cool. So i really have no choice, but i am glad, because there have been, and continue to be, so many hidden treasures in this thing, treasures i wasn't expecting.


There are great mysteries hidden inside of a family. When my husband holds me, I feel the loving arms of GOd, lover and Friend. When we love each other, there becomes some mysterious stability, that makes all the children at ease. And there is safety within a family, we are all in this together. I am free to pour out all the love i have, no one laughs, and it all ends up coming back to me in the end. I can be dead honest, and its OK. My husband loves me, and values my words, and feelings, and he can handle them. And when i honor, respect and trust my husband, I do so to God. When i feel the great love in my heart for my children, I feel God's great love for me. I co-labor with God, as he shows me individual strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and destinies. I am priviledged, to pray with the holy spririt for each of them. And i will always walk beside them, their biggest cheerleader, as the holy spirit does with us. As i teach the children how to relate with on another, We are humbled to realize jesus is our brother, as well as king. It is my Absolute Joy, to harness all of my wild and ravenous ambitions, and then gently and completely release them into my children.

There is so much in this, so much going on, i cannot think of doing anything else. In a blink, my kids will be old. and all of thier impressionableness, will be lost(somewhat). like hard cement. If there is one thing i do in my life, right, this must be it. It has to be.

So i fumble around, feel like i am losing my mind, often. Say sorry a million times. And teach and learn. When a child looks up at me, a mere two feet tall, big brown eyes, chubby cheeks- I am his world, and i create his world with my choices. He will meet his maker, through me, through us. Better make this a loving safe place, for them to grow, like delicate shoots, just sprouting from the ground. They will need water, sun, pruning, alot of work.....and we will see the fruit, and it will feed nations.